Dreading Monday

While my weekend has been surprisingly pleasant and I have worked hard to write positive slices over the last several days, I am struggling to do so today. Being at home for the entire weekend is not entirely uncommon, and since we had two busy previous weekends and snow, it was nice to kick back. However, tomorrow this gets real.

Tomorrow, I will not teach.

Tomorrow, my son will not go to school.

Tomorrow, my husband will offer his staff (only one person, but still) the opportunity to work from home, rather than take public transit to work daily.

I don’t feel like Annie much at the moment ā€“ “Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, tomorrow!”

I feel more like a broken Scarlett O’Hara, half sobbing “tomorrow is another day” before she regains her self-control and determination and declares that she “…will never be hungry again.”

I have made a schedule for tomorrow to make sure that my son gets some time to work on his academic skills, but I am loathe to schedule every minute of his day. He is not a child who transitions well, and unless he is doing exactly what he wants, it takes a lot of work to get him to focus. It’s going to be hard enough to keep him on a schedule for his schoolwork without insisting that he stop drawing because now we are going to do a science project, simply because it is time to do so on Mom’s schedule.

And I have things I need to do too. The house needs a spring cleaning, or even a desperate late winter whip-around, if that’s all I can manage.

I have grading to do, and need to start working out the best ways to streamline teaching for our shortened year so that all of my students get ample opportunities to demonstrate their mastery of the 6th grade standards. Not a moment can be wasted.

I am taking an online course, and I am behind in my classes, since we had a few weeks of personal, rather than international, chaos a few weeks back. I need time to work on the class and think of how to integrate the information into my best practice.

I need some time for self-care. I need to read and knit and forget the world for a bit. I also need some time that is not completely devoured by a bored child who wants a playmate.

I am acutely aware that I am quite privileged, because my teaching cancellations and my son’s school cancellations overlap, and I can be home with him during this crisis with no problem. I am acutely aware that far too many Americans are worrying about how to take care of their kids when they have to work, or how to pay their bills when their workplaces close, or how to feed kids who usually get some, or all, of their meals at school. I am acutely aware that I am powerless to mitigate any of this for them.

I am acutely aware that my parents and stepparents, and my husband’s parents and stepparent, are all over 70, and four of the seven of them are medically fragile.

I am acutely aware that I am far away from all of them.

So, yeah, I am dreading Monday.

11 thoughts on “Dreading Monday

  1. I believe the first step to managing anything is to ‘get it off our chest’ and this blog provides a great opportunity to do this. Most of us are dealing with this issue, but I can say that once we ‘get it off our chest’ the best thing we can do is impact what we can. You may not be able to physically assist your parents/in-laws, but you may be able to help a neighbor whose own children aren’t close enough to help. I am determined to find ways to make a positive impace where I am and however I am able. Hang in there – YOU GOT THIS! šŸ™‚

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    1. You make good points, and I was just making a list this afternoon of neighbors I need to check on, make a store run for, etc. I also appreciated my blog as a place to vent, which meant I was not saying all of this to my husband in front of our 9 year old, who does not need to know how worried we are.

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  2. …and…it is 100% HUMAN to be dreading days like tomorrow. You mention self-care. I think your first step has been in allowing yourself to sit in these very real and very difficult thoughts. And knowing that it’s OK to be dreading these times because you *are* human. ā¤

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  3. I can feel your frustration in this post. I can’t imagine how hard it will be for my families to have their children home AND keep them accountable for what the school requirements will be. There are so many ramifications for this shut down of our world. I’m ready for it to be over and it’s barely starting.

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    1. I agree. I am worried about my students, who have families who want them to be successful academically, but don’t necessarily have the resources to make up the gaps. My son is lucky that he has a teacher mom, though he may not always agree when I am making him write and practice his long division!

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  4. My priest said last week, “We will get through this thing.” You and I will get through this thing. Writing helps and I know you got a lot out in this piece. I’ve been doing the same thing in my writing. There are so many uncertainties. We will rise. Our kids will rise and we will get through it. It will stretch us and those around us in unconventional,. yet possibly welcome ways. Praying your Monday is way better than you expected!!!

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  5. I so connect with your slice. It’s so true. Tomorrow will bring such a myriad of tasks, emotions, and a new normal. My kid is like yours. Not great with transitions and dying for playdates. He and his buddy were looking at each other from down the street…wishing they could hang out. How far is 6 feet?? Your post is so relevant.
    Thank you.

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    1. Yeah, the not being able to play with friends bit is going to get difficult. I’m seriously thinking of setting up FaceTime playdates if this goes on for too long and he gets too antsy and sick on parents.

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