Periodically, I look at drafts of my writing, and I found this gem from 2016 in my files. I have absolutely no idea where I was going with this, but it certainly is entertaining along the way. Clearly, something must have interrupted me, for this is obviously not the end of the story. Or maybe it is just the worst ending that I have ever written? Perhaps I fell asleep on the keyboard and woke up later with the letters G, T, H, and V imprinted on my face and no memory of my actions? At any rate, it is worth sharing for the ridiculous title alone. So without further ado, I present…
Zombie Mommy and the Egg Hunt
Like many parents, I suspect especially those parents with young children, I can vaguely remember what life was like as a functioning, child-free adult. It seems a bit like a fairy tale. Apparently, I used to have many skills and talents and go places and do things. Seems pretty unrealistic though. How could I ever possibly have stayed out past 8pm? Or left the house in under an hour (Parent time can also be measured in shouts. No one ever leaves the house in under five shouts.)
What I feel now is…exhausted. Bone deep, brain-addling, intellect crippling exhausted. I have a child who does not sleep. After six and half years of interrupted sleep, I feel like I am hallucinating a large portion of the time. It keeps life exciting. Or confusing. One of those things. Periodically, we try to break him of the habit of waking Mommy up night after night, and we are currently in an epic battle of wills. Since this epic battle of wills is with a six year old, the grown-ups are, of course, losing badly. I lose more sleep trying to get him to go back to sleep without me than if I just get up with him.
All this long preamble means that by Saturday night, I was a bit on the wobbly side and facing a hyperactive child who could not wait for the arrival of the Easter Bunny and further haunted by the reminder that the same child was up at 1:30am on Christmas “morning”.
The Daily Meow 
I remember those days. I always wonder how we managed. I hope your teen kid now doesn’t keep you deprived of sleep for other reasons 🤭.
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He’s a good kid – 13, but a youngish and pretty well behaved 13. He’s had some health issues over the past year, and I lose some sleep over that, but never in the “oh, no, where is he and WHAT IS HE UP TO” sense. (Fingers crossed!)
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“Parent time can also be measured in shouts. No one ever leaves the house in under five shouts” – This made me laugh.
What happened next is that the Easter bunny visited but mom was fighting for her life and sanity the next day, even though there was an egg hunt scheduled for the next day that required her to be alert. Tough deal when she was probably sleepwalking through the day.
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I suspect that you are correct! I have a vague sense of trying to focus my eyes and brain and limbs all at the same time, though that was not particularly uncommon in that period.
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